#163: Al Snow vs. Big Boss Man, WWE Unforgiven (9/26/1999).
This is the Kennel from Hell Match for Snow’s Hardcore Championship.
So, you may have heard of this one. If you haven’t, you are one lucky motherfucker. The Kennel is the traditional blue steel cage, and surrounding it and the ring is the Hell in a Cell cage. Both men start in the ring, and must escape both cages to win the match. However, at ringside in the Cell, are “rabid dogs” ready to tear apart both participants. Historically, this is considered one of the worst wrestling matches of all time.
This long feud is based around the fact that these two have been feuding over the Hardcore Title, and at one point, Boss Man kidnapped Snow’s dog Pepper, killed it, and then fed it to an unknowing Snow. Definitely not a terrible way to build to a wrestling match.
The bell rings, as Boss Man enters the Cell. Snow is waiting for Boss Man in the ring. Both men immediately fight at ringside, with Snow attacking Boss Man with his nightstick. I should note that the bell rang, BEFORE the dogs even came into the picture, and they are only now coming to the ring. I think they get a nice pop too! They’re adorable Rottweilers! Boss Man has been locked out of the blue cage. The dogs start chasing Boss Man, who climbs the cage.
Snow grabs a shovel piece and swings it at Boss Man. The dogs are barking at ringside. Both men are fighting atop the blue cage, as the dogs bark below. They’re so rabid! The handlers look like they’re having trouble laughing. Boss Man knocks Snow to ringside, and he quickly climbs the Cell wall to avoid the dogs. Jim Ross is trying his best to sell this concept on commentary. It’s not working. Boss Man grabs Snow on top of the cage, and pulls him back into the ring with a suplex. The crowd does not enjoy this.
The dogs are barking at each other, as Boss Man sends Snow into the cage wall. They’re so cute! Boss Man breaks something across the head of Snow. You could hear a pin drop in this building. Snow is busted open. Boss Man with a cookie sheet to the head repeatedly. Commentary ponders where the dogs can smell the blood, like sharks. Boss Man has pliers, and he’s trying to cut his way out through the roof. Snow cuts him off with a pipe, or at least I think it was a pipe.
Boss Man tries to cut Snow’s ear off with the pliers. He pulls out a bag of powder, but Snow knocks it back into his eyes. He decks Boss Man with the stick, and he’s now busted open. Snow hits Boss Man in the back with the shovel. He sends Boss Man into the cage, and tries to get the dogs to bite Boss Man’s hand. They do not give a shit about this match. Boss Man fights back with a shovel shot to the head. He hits him at one point, and it makes a “boing” noise like in Looney Tunes.
He grabs his handcuffs and cuffs Snow to the cage. Boss Man makes the climb up the cage towards the hole in the roof. Snow is able to break the cuffs, and shakes the blue cage, causing Boss Man to fall and crotch himself on the ropes. Snow pulls Head out of the sack of weapons, and decks Boss Man across the face with it. Snow makes the climb over the cage, and Boss Man does the same. Boss Man is on top of the Cell, while Snow is able to drop off the Cell wall, and go through the door to win and retain. Boss Man is able to sneak through the door, while the dogs give chase. I think you could see all the piss and shit that the dogs left behind at ringside.
Welp. I don’t even know what to say about this that hasn’t already been said. This absolutely fucking sucked. There was no flow, no gradual movement that made sense. This was two guys, trying desperately to make it through an 11 minute match where they are so obviously handicapped by the stipulation – one that I might add almost never played a factor into this. The dogs at ringside were never once rabid. They’re used the bathroom for the entirety of it, or barked at themselves. Which, honestly, that’s expected. It’s reaching far to think a gimmick like this would be pulled off the way the writers wanted it to.
So, when your gimmick doesn’t work, you’re left with a match where both men are trying to escape two cages, and it wasn’t the least bit exciting. Given the history of Hell in a Cell even at this point in WWE, it’s pretty bad when Boss Man getting to the roof doesn’t elicit anything resembling a pop. I’ll give him and Snow credit – they tried to sell the danger of this match. But, it just didn’t work. This was a weak match, and rightfully one of the worst to ever take place in wrestling.
The only positive of the match is that the dogs were absolutely adorable. Stop stereotyping Rottweilers! They are one of the sweetest breeds of dogs there is.