#99: The Fiend vs. John Cena, WWE WrestleMania 36, Night 2 (4/5/2020).
This is the Firefly Funhouse Match.
John Cena made his return to WWE, and was immediately made the target of The Fiend, Bray Wyatt. Bray made it clear that Cena was the reason for all of his failings over the years, and was one of the reasons why this version of himself had come to light. Cena made it known that Wyatt, like so many others, was simply making excuses for all the shortcomings. Cena promised to cleanse WWE of its most overrated performer in Wyatt.
No one knows what the original plan for this singles match was to be before COVID-19 shut the world down, and all of WWE was forced to hold their shows at the Performance Center in Orlando, Florida in front of no fans. And when this match, a "Firefly Funhouse Match" was announced, no one knew what was in store. What follows is a "match" that I say is the crowning achievement in the career of Bray Wyatt.
Cena makes his entrance, and as he goes to say "Welcome to WrestleMania," he disappears. Bray talks about our darkest secrets aren't secret in a certain kind of realm.
Bray wants to take a deep look at who Cena is, and he's going to face his most dangerous opponent: himself. Cena appears in the Funhouse, and after looking around, he enters through the door. Ramblin' Rabbit tells him to be careful.
Cena stands in darkness, and then suddenly comes face to face with the Vince McMahon puppet, who asks him if he has enough Ruthless Aggression. Bray is standing inside of a ring, playing the role of Kurt Angle, who Cena faced on his debut.
Cena enters while wearing his 2002 attire. Cena says he has ruthless aggression, and Bray questions how good of an idea this all was. He says it's embarrassing, and he sees how Cena was almost fired.
Bray wonders if this is what Cena wants to do with his life. Next, we go to Saturday Night's Main Event. Bray shows off his muscles, and talks about "Johnny Large Meat."
Cena appears, and is lifting weights, almost against his own will. He tries to punch Bray, but his arms are jelly. Bray asks what Cena will do when he realizes Egomania has been running wild on him?
Now Cena is dressed in his Thuganomics gear. Back in the Ring, Cena cuts a rap, and Bray isn't impressed. Cena turns it around, and talks about how Bray has blown every chance he's had.
Bray calls him a bully, and now that he's the man, he's just a lonely guy. Cena throws a bag of nuts at him, and thrusts towards the turnbuckle. But Bray disappears, and then knocks him to the mat.
Now Bray is here as the Eater of Worlds. He talks about WrestleMania 30, when Cena beat him and seemingly destroyed all of his momentum. Now in the Ring, Wyatt crushes Cena in the turnbuckle and dances with him. Cena escapes Sister Abigail, and Bray hands him a chair.
Similar to WrestleMania 30, Bray is giving Cena a choice. This time, Cena does swing the chair at Bray, who has disappeared again. Now we cut nWo Monday Nitro, where Bray is Eric Bischoff, and Cena is Hollywood Hogan.
Cena comes out in nWo gear, and plays the WCW Title like a guitar. He and Bray share a Too Sweet, and Cena shakes back to reality. He tackles Bray to the mat, as Cena Sucks chants play in the background.
Suddenly, Cena realizes he's punching Huskus the Pig, and The Fiend appears behind him. Fiend puts the Mandible Claw in, and drops Cena with Sister Abigail. A voice over of Cena plays, stating that WrestleMania will play host to the end of the most over hyped, over valued, and over privileged superstar in existence.
Fiend connects with Sister Abigail, and continues the Mandible Claw, as Bray counts the 3 to end...the match? Fiend celebrates, as Cena then disappears from the ring entirely. Or, did he disappear from this realm?
What in the world do you call this? Is it a match? Is it one long segment? Is it a mini movie? I don't know. What I can call it is absolutely brilliant. It's incredibly meta, bringing up inside references on both men's careers, while also giving both men an opportunity to cosplay as figures from wrestling's past.
It told a great story about both men, as each got to look at their own failures, and each got a glimpse of what success could be like. But in the end, Cena failed to find success, as The Fiend destroyed him so badly that we literally couldn't see Cena. You know, because he disappeared. This was simply great television. What it lacked in a traditional pro wrestling structure, it made up for by being a great piece of artistic expression.