ECW December to Dismember Review (12/3/2006).
Contrary to popular belief, I was super excited when ECW came back as WWE’s 3rd brand in 2006. But, that’s mostly because I was thirteen and I didn’t know any better.
Truth be told, around this time of my fandom for WWE, I thought this ECW kicked ass. I was really into it, along with Monday Night Raw, and whatever was going on in TNA Wrestling. I really hated Smackdown, though. I was never a fan of the King Booker gimmick, and I was in a phase where I hated everything that Batista was doing. In fact, I was so into my hatred for both, that I remember when Booker defended the World Championship against Batista twice on different episodes of Smackdown, and each time I would look at my TV and go “come on, hurry up!”
Anyway, I was looking at this time period through rose colored glasses. Present day has given me the power of hindsight, and...oh boy, was this a rough time to be a fan of the original ECW. WWE had decided to bring back ECW as a third brand of their weekly TV, due to the success of the One Night Stand PPVs, as well as the original success of “The Rise and Fall of ECW,” the DVD documentary that sold more copies in 2004 than WrestleMania XX.
Despite knowing full well that this ECW wouldn’t be anything like the Philadelphia company from the 1990s, it did have good intentions from the start. Paul Heyman would be at the helm, WWE Champion Rob Van Dam was named the new ECW World Champion, many of the original ECW stars were signed to the brand such as Tommy Dreamer, The Sandman, and Sabu, and Heyman himself wanted to use the brand as a way to build new stars for the future, to have ECW be a proving ground for young up and coming talent – including a young man by the name of CM Punk. They even brought over Kurt Angle, whose natural wrestling ability would cater to the fans of ECW who fell in love with scientific wrestling.
Sounds good, right? Well, unfortunately, things quickly fell apart right from the word “go.” RVD and Sabu were both pulled over and found in possession of marijuana – hardly a crime, but it was 2006. RVD then dropped both the WWE Title and the ECW Title two straight days in a row – the latter being to the Big Show, who along with Heyman, became the new heels of the brand. The Originals of ECW were tossed aside for the likes of Show, Test and Hardcore Holly – people that ECW fans had no interest in seeing.
Add in the token ECW Title defenses on a weekly basis against well known ECW legends like Batista, Ric Flair, and the Undertaker, and yeah, this ECW had Vince McMahon’s name written all over it. The Big Show/Batista match in particular was so poorly received that both men were booed out of the Hammerstein Ballroom. Punk was certainly a fixture of ECW, but he wasn’t exactly getting the push people were hoping for. Oh, and Kurt Angle? He left WWE in August of 2006 to go to TNA to have arguably the best run of his entire wrestling career.
And so, we get to December to Dismember, ECW’s first brand exclusive event, and it’s headlined by the first ever Extreme Elimination Chamber Match – a Chamber Match, but with weapons in the pods. Big Show would be defending the ECW World Title against Punk, RVD, Sabu, Test and ECW’s newest signing, Bobby Lashley. Now, tell me if you’ve heard this one before: You have Punk, the guy that fans really want to see get to the top and be the face of the brand, and then you have Lashley, the guy that Vince McMahon wants on top. Care to guess where this will head?
That match was the main selling point for this show, because...well, the ECW roster was as thin as a sheet of paper. With the roster, the booking of the main event, and the complete lack of an identity, things were looking awesome for WWE’s watered down version of Extreme Championship Wrestling. On this night, things would boil over so well that there was essentially no return from it. Whatever was in mind for ECW when it was revived was left to die with this show, and Vince McMahon’s vision of it would carry forward, no matter the cost.
So, let’s take a look at December to Dismember, one of the most infamous events in WWE history. Fun fact: This is the last wrestling event I ever rented from the local video store that I grew up around. I actually remember begging my mom to get it for me.
We get an opening video package focused on the Chamber Match, and the selling point is that this match will feature weapons, which has never happened before. The narrator ends the video by saying that this will be “a december to dismember.” Ah, good one.
Pyro goes off as the fans in Augusta, Georgia are ready for this one! Joey Styles says on commentary that a new ECW World Champion will be crowned in the Chamber. Ha! What is this, Michael Cole at WrestleMania XV?
- Interpromotional Match: MNM vs. The Hardys.
We kick off the ECW event with an interpromotional match featuring wrestlers from Raw and Smackdown. Not a good start, despite how good this will be. Johnny Nitro and Jeff Hardy represent Raw, while Joey Mercury and Matt Hardy represent Smackdown. Seeing Melina do her smokeshow entrance makes me glad that people found her recently during the LA Wildfires.
Other than the Elimination Chamber Match, this was the only match announced ahead of time for this event. So, just to remind you: only one ECW match was announced for this ECW PPV, and it was the main event.
This is the first time that the Hardys have teamed up in a traditional tag team match since 2002, so that’s pretty cool. Jeff Hardy is the Intercontinental Champion as well. Also, fun fact: this match features two future ECW World Champions in Matt Hardy and Johnny Nitro, aka John Morrison.
Crowd chants for the Hardys, as the bell sounds. Matt and Mercury lock up, and lobby for control. Neither man has the advantage, so we have a stalemate. They lock up again, and Matt takes the side headlock takedown. Tazz is already distracted on commentary by Melina. We get another standoff, and here comes Jeff and Nitro to back up their teams. The crowd is hot for the Hardys. Matt and Mercury lock up again, and Matt hammerlocks the arm and sends Mercury shoulder first into the turnbuckle.
Jeff tags in, and takes control of the arm. Matt tags in again, and he takes the arm now. Mercury elbows his way free and tags in Nitro, who walks into a hip toss. Matt takes the arm and tags Jeff in again. Good double team dropkick by Jeff, and he gets a nearfall off of that. More double team by the Hardys on both of MNM. Jeff stomps on Nitro, who he’s developed quite the rivalry with over the IC Title. Nitro starts to stomp at Jeff, and he makes the tag to Mercury.
Nitro tags right back in, and hits a neckbreaker. Jeff fires back and makes the tag to Matt, who unloads with punches to Nitro. Elbow drop to the sternum, and next he irish whips him to the turnbuckle. Matt with the Niagara Driver out of the corner, and Mercury breaks up the pin. Melina tries to distract Matt by grabbing his boot, and he ends up walking into a clothesline by Mercury. Nitro brings him into the ring, and MNM hit a double gutbuster. Nitro tags in, and drives his knee into the midsection for a 2 count. With the referee distracted, Melina applies a head scissors to Matt, and Tazz wonders who wouldn’t want that! Nitro takes a cheap shot to Jeff, while MNM hit a double facebuster to Matt. Nitro opens up with some strikes to Matt, then tags in Mercury.
Matt reverses a double suplex into a neckbreaker to both men. Matt crawls towards his brother, but MNM knock him off the apron. They isolate Matt, and do the Poetry in Motion to Matt in the corner! Tazz really appreciates the lungs on Melina. Mercury looks for Twist of Fate on Matt, but he pushes him into the ropes, crotching Nitro. Matt jumps and makes the tag to Jeff, who unloads on Mercury with a diving clothesline.
Jeff with an inverted suplex to Nitro, and here comes Matt to attack Mercury. He clotheslines him to the floor, and then dives onto him with a crossbody. Nitro makes the leap and lands on top of both men on the floor. Here’s Jeff on the top rope, and he jumps onto all three men! The crowd loved that spot. In the ring, Matt hits Twist of Fate on Mercury, while Jeff comes down with the Swanton Bomb, but Nitro pulls his partner out of the way!
Nitro hits a springboard missile dropkick to Jeff. Melina screams again, and now Tazz wants her to stop talking! Make up your mind, Tazz. Jeff kicked out of that attack, and Nitro starts to work on the lower back of Jeff. Mercury tags in, and they catapult him into the turnbuckle. Mercury stretches Jeff’s arms behind his back, and then tags in Nitro. They toss Jeff into the turnbuckle again. Tazz says that Melina is smoking, but she’s getting on his nerves.
Nitro throws Jeff to the outside, and distracts the referee. Melina and Mercury double team him, with her slapping the shit out of him. More double team offense by MNM, and Mercury gets a nearfall. Nitro tags in, and hits a springboard elbow drop. He covers, and Matt breaks it up. Mercury with a camel clutch of sorts, as he looks to keep the high octane Hardy down to the mat. Jeff is able to work his way free, and he sends Mercury to the outside.
Mercury pulls Matt off the apron, and they brawl for a moment. Nitro pulls Jeff back to the MNM corner, and Mercury makes the tag to Nitro. They double catapult him to the turnbuckle, but Jeff catches himself and comes off the turnbuckle with the Whisper in the Wind to both men. Matt makes the hot tag, and he’s unloading on MNM. Powerslam to Mercury, and an irish whip to Nitro. Side effect to Mercury, and one to Nitro. He covers, and Nitro kicks out.
Leg drop by Matt, and Nitro kicks out again. Jeff tags back in, and looks for a powerbomb, but Mercury helps Nitro turn it into a top rope Frankensteiner for a nearfall. Matt has Mercury on the top rope, while Jeff has Nitro up. Dueling suplexes from the top to MNM! Melina is on the apron, looking to cause a distraction. Jeff blocks her slap, and Nitro ends up dropkicking her on the apron by mistake! Jeff rolls him up, and Nitro kicks out!
MNM connect with the Snap Shot to Jeff, and Matt breaks up the pin! On the top rope, MNM are looking for a top rope Snap Shot, but here’s Matt to break it up. Double Cutter to them by Matt, and now Jeff connects with the Swanton Bomb to both members of MNM. He covers, and that’s the win! Really awesome match between both teams. It was given plenty of time, and all four men showcased great tag team psychology. It was exciting, the fans were super into it, and it had a hot finish. Good stuff all around.
Joey Styles and Tazz talk about the Chamber Match, and how historic it will be to see this match with weapons.
We get a video package with RVD, who understands the risks of this match.
- Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney.
I can’t tell you how excited I am to watch a Matt Striker match! Just kidding. The former New York school teacher makes his way out, wearing a pink sweater. Striker talks about his opponent, Balls Mahoney. He looks up at the chamber, and reminds us of the chaos and destruction that will happen tonight. He feels it’s his responsibility to restore order. He asks the crowd if he’s extreme, and they say no. He says that this match will be contested under Extreme Rules – an extreme enforcement of the rules.
We get a run down of the rules that the referee must adhere to, and he wonders if Balls can wrestle under Striker’s Rules.
Commentary talks about how Striker has his own face on his trunks, and Joey Styles says you can say a lot about a man who wants to sit on his face. The bell rings, and here we go. Balls takes control of the leg, and Striker quickly gets to the ropes. They lock up, and Striker strikes first. Balls does a leap frog, and Striker can’t believe it. Balls goes for an arm breaker, and Striker gets to the ropes. Striker takes a cheap shot to Balls, and gets whipped into the turnbuckle.
Balls goes shoulder first into the ring post, and then gets hit with a flying arm bar by Striker. He continues his offense on Balls, as the crowd chants “Striker sucks.” Neckbreaker by Striker, and Balls kicks out. Striker bends the arm back, and whips Balls shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Balls tries to fight back with some jabs to Striker, and then a side walk slam for 2. Balls goes to the top rope, and Striker crotches him on the turnbuckle.
Striker with an arm bar to Balls, and he’s able to get to the bottom rope. Balls comes back with some strikes to the head. High back body drop by Balls, and more jabs. Balls with the Lo Down, and that’s enough for the win. This was whatever. Certainly not a PPV quality match. I can at least respect that Balls sold his arm well throughout the match.
Backstage, CM Punk is gearing up for the Chamber Match. We then cut further backstage, and it looks like Sabu has been attacked. Paul Heyman is here, and he wants to know what happened. Sabu is unresponsive, as you can hear the crowd chanting “bullshit.”
- Sylvester Terkay & Elijah Burke vs. The FBI.
WWE really had high hopes for Terkay around this time, but in the shadow of this push, would come the future Pope D’Angelo Dinero, as Burke would certainly go on to have a much better career following his tenure in ECW. Burke says it’s time for the Elijah Experience. The crowd doesn’t react at all. He says to bring out their opponents, because he and the man bear are about to feast. Here comes Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke, along with Trinity.
Burke and Guido start things out, and Burke is still wearing his hat. Burke takes Guido down, and he’s not happy about it. Drop toe hold by Guido, and he smacks Burke’s head and takes his hat. Mamaluke tags in, and gets a roll up for 2. Side headlock takedown to Burke. Guido tags back in, and the FBI hit a double hip toss. Guido gets a nearfall off of that. Burke knees him in the gut, and here comes Terkay. He dominates Mamaluke in the corner, but misses a splash. Guido tags in, and dives onto Terkay, who catches him. He kicks Mamaluke away, and tosses Guido onto him on the outside. Back in the ring, Terkay has Guido by the head with one hand. He tags Burke in, who catches Guido with a hard strike to the gut. That gets him a nearfall.
Chin lock by Burke, and Guido works his way back to his feet. He takes a cheap shot to Terkay, who drops him easily. Terkay tags in, and drills Guido. Burke is back in, and hits an STO. Mamaluke breaks up the pin, and Burke puts the chin lock back in. Guido is back up, and avoids a superkick to tag Mamaluke in. Dropkicks connect to Burke, and a diving elbow. FBI hit a double dropkick to Terkay to take him out.
They flapjack Burke, and Mamaluke gets a nearfall off of that. Burke goes for the Deep Six, sending Mamaluke into Terkay, who hits him, and then Burke hits the Elijah Experience for the 3 and the win. Post match, Burke and Terkay continue their attack on FBI, as Terkay hits the Muscle Buster on Guido, and hilariously, I can hear a fan chanting “TNA.” That match was a whole lot of nothing. It had zero heat, and the finish was flatlined. Still, I always like watching Elijah Burke, and Trinity was a complete smokeshow.
Backstage, RVD is walking with Sabu, who’s getting loaded up into an ambulance. CM Punk is here as well.
- Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari.
Daivari gives a speech to the fans in Farsi, as he’s accompanied to the ring by The Great Khali. Dreamer enters to a decent reaction from the fans.
Dreamer gets the advantage early, sending Daivari to the floor, and talking trash to Khali. Daivari is back in, and unloads with strikes to Dreamer. Dreamer with a hip toss to Daivari, and he goes back to the floor. Commentary ponders on whether or not Sabu will be able to come back from his attack. Daivari rakes the eyes, and dropkicks Dreamer to the outside. He follows up with a baseball slide. Dreamer irish whips Daivari into the barricade, as Khali comes to check on him.
Khali causes Dreamer to come tumbling to the floor, and the referee is ejecting him from ringside. Daivari isn’t happy about that. He rolls Dreamer into the ring, and starts raining down elbows to the shoulder. You can hear a faint “we want hardcore” chant. Daivari with a sleeper hold, and a neck crank next. Dreamer tries to escape, but Daivari locks in a sleeper hold again. Dreamer gets to his feet, and splashes Daivari to the mat.
They exchange punches, with Dreamer getting the upper hand. Inverted DDT by Dreamer, and Daivari kicks out. Daivari rakes the eyes, and elbows Dreamer in the socket. He goes to the top rope, but here’s Dreamer with him. Daivari shoves him away, and misses a top rope splash. Dreamer places him back on the top rope, and hangs him upside down. Dreamer with the tamest dropkick to the head, and he looks for the DDT, but Daivari counters it into a roll up. He uses the tights to get the win.
Post match, Dreamer chases Daivari up to the stage, and he runs right into the Great Khali. Dreamer is no match, and he gets chokeslammed back first onto the steel grate. What a surprise here, folks – another match with no heat, nothing standing out, and another ECW original made to look like a total chump. They sure have sucked the complete life out of this show already.
Backstage, Paul Heyman walks into the locker room to talk to Hardcore Holly. He lets him know about Sabu’s condition, and he names Sabu’s replacement: Holly. Conviently, Holly is already in his gear! So, think about all of the things that Sabu has been through in his career up to this point, and it was Bob Holly who took him out tonight.
- Mixed Tag Team Match: Mike Knox & Kelly Kelly vs. Kevin Thorn & Ariel.
Listen, as a kid, I gooned over Kelly Kelly like crazy. But in hindsight, and especially with all of the investigations going on into Vince McMahon, isn’t it a little strange that this 19 year old woman Kelly Kelly was hired by WWE, and her gimmick is that she is an exhibitionist? Some things just make too much sense.
This is a few years before Knox was pushed as a monster heel on Raw, and this is a few years after Thorn was Mordecai on Smackdown. Thorn and Ariel are vampires, because ECW is on Sci-Fi around this time. The horror! The bell sounds, and we start with Thorn and Knox. “Sabu” chants break out throughout the venue. They lock up, and Knox shoves him away. Knox tries to take control of the arm, and Thorn hits him with a thrust strike to the face. Back elbow to the head, and a knee to the back.
Thorn with a neck crank next, as Tazz can’t get enough of Ariel and her short skirt. Hey, at least one thing about ECW hasn’t changed: the objectification of women. Knox with a big lariat to Thorn, followed by some punches. Ariel is screaming on the apron, as Thorn hits his own clothesline to Knox. Thorn connects with some strikes in the corner to Knox, who tries to fight back. I just realized how weird this match is: everyone involved is a heel, except for Kelly, who has zero wrestling experience.
Big boot by Knox, and Thorn gets his foot on the bottom rope. Crovat by Knox. Thorn forces Knox to his corner, and here comes Ariel with the tag. The crowd actually come to their feet, as Kelly enters. Ariel kicks her down right away, and pulls her hair into the ropes. Ariel chokes her in the ropes, and drives her boot into her throat. Hey, if you can’t tell from Styles and Tazz, Ariel’s crotch is exposed! Kelly avoids a shoulder tackle in the corner, and looks to tag Knox in.
Ariel cuts her off, and hits an elbow drop. Kelly tries to tag Knox, who pulls his hand away and leaves the match. Huge chants for CM Punk, as Ariel continues to beat up Kelly. Ariel hits, I think, an STO, for the win. The vampires make out to celebrate. Ariel continues her assault post match, as Thorn threatens the referee. The Sandman’s music hits, and he gets the biggest pop of the night. He enters the ring, and beats up Thorn with the Singapore Cane. He chases him up the stage to end the segment.
Can you believe it? Another match that was as lifeless as the first season of NXT. The biggest reactions came for the women and their outfits, so that says all you need to know about this one. Also, if Sandman is here already, why not have him replaced Sabu instead of, you know, Bob Holly? Stupid. Who’s booking this shit? Oh yeah, Vince McMahon.
Backstage, Bobby Lashley is interviewed. He’s shown footage from last week, where Big Show and Test beat the hell out of him. Lashley says that nothing will stop him tonight, as he’s one man with one mission. Big Show, Holly and Test are shown walking backstage with Heyman.
- Extreme Elimination Chamber for the ECW World Championship: Big Show © vs. CM Punk vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Test vs. Hardcore Holly.
We get a pretty decent video package to hype up this match, but I don’t think it’s enough to salvage this event. Big Show, Hardcore Holly and Test are all aligned with Paul Heyman, and Holly originally was to accept an open contract for this match, but was attacked by Lashley. So naturally, he ends up taking Sabu’s place in the match.
Paul Heyman makes his way to the ring for a promo. He says he knows what’s been created, and he guarantees that ECW will live on long after Heyman is gone. He talks about Sabu being out of the match, and the fans aren’t happy about it. He says that this match is the crowning achievement of Big Show’s career, and the Chamber begins to lower.
The match begins with RVD and Holly squaring off. They lock up, and Holly takes control of the back. He elbows RVD in the face, and sends him into the ropes. RVD comes back with a clothesline, and Holly with one of his own. RVD fights his way out of the corner, and Holly sends him to the steel grate on the outside. RVD springboards off the ropes to Holly, and he lands on the chain link. He dives off of that, and goes chest first on the top rope.
Holly with a powerslam to RVD on the grate. Holly sends him face first into the chain, and then connects with a second powerslam. He goes to the top rope, and comes down for something, and RVD gets his boot up to block it. I would like to point out that this is the most active the crowd has been for a match since the opening match. Not a good look. RVD returns to the ring, and hits the Rolling Thunder to Holly over the top rope and to the steel grate!
RVD goes for a suplex, and Holly blocks it, sending RVD back into the ring. Holly covers, and Van Dam kicks out at 2. “CM Punk” chant breaks out. The clock counts down, and here comes Punk with a steel chair! He tosses it at Holly, and springboards a clothesline onto RVD! The crowd pop big for his appearance. He throws the chair at RVD, and Van Dam throws it right back at his head. RVD grabs the chair now, and leap frogs Punk back first onto it.
Punk does the Jerry Lynn spot of leg dropping Van Dam’s head onto the chair. Springboard dropkick to Holly next. He elbows RVD, who’s busted open now. Next, he tosses him head first into the chair positioned into the turnbuckle. He looks for a hurricanrana to Holly, who catches him and swings him into the chain link wall. Holly gets a nearfall off of that. Back in the ring, Holly connects with a side walk slam, as RVD is bleeding all over the place.
Holly with an inverted suplex to Punk on the ropes. He places Punk on the top rope, and chops him a few times. High suplex from the top rope to Punk, and RVD takes advantage with a pin attempt, but he only gets 2. We’ve gotten chants for Punk and chants for RVD, but none for Lashley, who is supposed to be the big babyface of this match, as far as Vince McMahon is concerned. The clock winds down, and here comes Test, and he’s got a crowbar!
He attacks Punk first, and then digs it in RVD’s face. He uses it to choke Punk against the ropes. Punk responds with a Stunner of sorts, which guillotines Test on the ropes. RVD with some clotheslines to Holly, and he goes for the chair. Head shot to Test, and one to Holly. Now he runs the chair into Punk’s head with his feet. He goes to the top rope, and he hits the Five Star Frog Splash to Punk. He makes the cover, and Punk is eliminated! The fans are not happy about that.
Test is back in the ring, and he hits the Big Boot on Holly! He makes the cover, and Holly is gone! RVD takes Test out with a springboard kick to the jaw. He goes to the top of one of the pods, but Big Show reaches through and holds his boot. Test hits him with a chair in the back and head, and then tosses him to the mat. Test places the chair on RVD’s head, and then he climbs up to the pod. Test hits his awesome elbow drop onto the chair, and RVD is eliminated. Hey, wouldn’t you know it – the fans don’t like that, either. And not in the way of “oh man, our good guy is gone.” But in the way of “who the fuck is booking this?” Nice “bullshit” chant from the fans.
Lashley looks on in disbelief, as he now realizes it’s probably 2 on 1 from here on out. The clock ticks, and here comes Lashley! But wait, here’s Paul Heyman’s security, who are holding Lashley’s pod shut. Test is taunting him with the crowbar. Lashley takes the table in his pod, and shatters the chain link above him. He makes the climb out, and he kicks Test away. Lashley dives off the top rope with a clothesline.
On the steel grate, Lashley hammers away at Test, and he clotheslines him through the pod! He tosses Test into another pod, and there is no give. It sounded rough. Oh, it actually did break slightly. I noticed it on the replay. Both men brawl in the ring, with Test shoving his boot into Lashley’s throat. Test goes to use the chair, and Lashley kicks it into his face. Couple of clotheslines follow, and a snap suplex from Lashley.
He takes the crowbar and swings it into Test’s midsection, and follows that up with a Spear, and that’s enough to eliminate Test. It’s down to Lashley and the Big Show. Heyman gives Show a pep talk, while Lashley retrieves the table from his pod. He tosses it at Show’s pod, and then throws the chair at it as well. Show enters the chamber, and he’s got a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Lashley uses the chair to block all of Show’s strikes with the bat.
Show goes to use it again, but it gets stuck in the chamber wall. Lashley sends Show head first into the chains, and he poses for the crowd, who do not react well at all. Show is busted open, and Lashley sends him crashing through another pod. Heyman is begging Show to survive, as he tosses Lashley from the grate to the ring. Show follows up with a huge clothesline, and now he signals for the Chokeslam. He grabs Lashley by the throat, but he counters it into a spike DDT.
Lashley with some punches to Show, while Show misses all of his punches. Lashley jumps at Show, who catches him. He goes for the running powerslam, but Lashley slips out and he hits the Spear out of nowhere to eliminate him and win the ECW World Championship. The crowd are either dead silent, or booing. Poor Lashley. The show goes off the air with a pyro display, as Lashley celebrates on the stage.
So, here’s the thing about this match. The only bad thing about it, in my opinion, was how it was booked. I’ll get to that in a moment. In a bubble, I don’t think the match was as bad as people say. It had some good moments, and there was definite carnage as far as all of the pods getting busted up. I feel like all of the weapons, minus the barbed wire, played their part well in the match. Test had an awesome spot with that elbow drop. And I think Lashley looked like a beast overcoming the odds and kicking ass.
The problem is that not many wanted to see Bobby Lashley in this spot, including Paul Heyman, who was at the helm of ECW. Who made the call? Vince McMahon. And if you can believe it, the way it was done – with the babyface overcoming the odds over the authority heels, while the two sentimental favorites are done away with early on – didn’t work at all. I wouldn’t call it as catastrophic as when it happened for Roman Reigns during the 2015 Royal Rumble, but it was still pretty weak.
As Heyman would say in an interview in 2008, he and McMahon were at odds with this entire show. Heyman thought the undercard, the design, and the layout of the event were bad, and he made sure to let Vince know this. He also believed that Bobby Lashley winning the ECW World Title in the manner that he would wasn’t doing him any favors, due to Punk and RVD getting eliminated early on. Lashley would be perceived as leapfrogging them to the top, and the fans wouldn’t like that, due to the overwhelming popularity of Punk and the storyline of RVD working his way back to the title after being screwed out of it 6 months prior.
According to Heyman, his idea was to have Show enter first, and claim that he’d eliminate everyone one by one. He’d start the match with Punk, who would use his MMA influence – a play on how popular the UFC was around this time – and choke Show out before the next entrant enters the match. RVD would enter next, and then it would be a battle against the other heels in Holly and Test. Vince reportedly hated the idea, and also hated the fact that Big Show – who was on his way out the door anyway to deal with his health – absolutely loved the idea.
Following this event, and due to the issues surrounding the booking of this event and the ECW brand in general, Heyman would be gone from the WWE just days later, and he wouldn’t again return to the company until 2012.
And yeah, that’s December to Dismember. This was a horrid PPV. The thing about it is that I don’t think any of the matches on this card were truly horrible. The four matches sandwiched between the opener and the main event were passable TV matches at best for this era, but the problem is that they meant nothing, the ECW guys were all made to look like chumps, and I don’t believe any of them were announced ahead of time anyway. So, what you have is a lousy episode of ECW that people paid $40 for. The crowd didn’t care, and why should they? There was no effort here whatsoever. This show sucks because it doesn’t know what the hell it is.
The main event was decent, and I’d go as far as to say it was better than some other Elimination Chamber matches – I’m looking at you, SummerSlam 2003. What holds it back is the booking. Punk was white hot, and everybody loves Rob Van Dam. So naturally, let’s get those two scrubs out of the way and make way for the tried and true formula of stacking the odds against the babyface. And listen, that formula was guaranteed money once upon a time, but not in 2006.
And listen, it’s nothing against Bobby Lashley. He’s awesome, and I was a huge fan of him around this time. And I still think he looked great here. He came off like a badass in the way he took care of Test and Big Show. The issue is that Bobby Lashley is a bad fit as the face of ECW. He just doesn’t fit. When this happened, it reeked of the infamous “Vince McMahon babyface push,” because that’s what it was. Again, not as egregious as Roman Reigns, but it was the same formula: A guy Vince loves being pushed as THE top guy on the brand, when the fans clearly want something else.
And with Heyman gone, the ECW brand would slowly limp to its death. 2007 and 2008 weren’t bad years for the brand, even though it lost all of its identity by that point, but it had a solid enough roster with good workers. But as 2009 rolled on, it was sad and pitiful. It was put out of its misery in 2010. Goes to show that when WWE takes something that got popular on its own and tries its own spin on it, it almost never works.
I will add, though, that the opening match between The Hardys and MNM is fucking fantastic. I’ve always been a fan of that match, and I highly recommend it. Otherwise, this is completely skippable. Four of the matches are nothing and the main event is hampered by horrible booking. This was, indeed, a December I’d like to Dismember, because it fucking sucked.