WCW Thunder Review (5/3/2000).
I meant to do this last week for my “Shitty Match” theme, but I never got around to it. Maybe that was fate telling me that I should avoid this show entirely. And yet, here we are. This is an infamous episode of Thunder that many consider to be one of the worst wrestling episodes ever aired. It’s WCW, in the year 2000, when Vince Russo is writing the product. Oh, and it’s Thunder. I wonder why it’s hated? Let’s find out.
I’m going into this with not a ton of context – just things I’ve heard about on podcasts (thanks, Deadlock). So, this should be fun! Maybe.
The show opens with a recap of recent happenings in the New Blood/Millionaire’s Club feud. This includes David Arquette – the man who won the WCW World Title a week ago – facing off against Tank Abbott, which he won thanks to Diamond Dallas Page. Because fuck everything that makes sense. Sting and Vampiro are feuding, Billy Kidman is trying to make a name for himself at the expense of Hulk Hogan, and Vince Russo is still running his mouth against Ric Flair and Lex Luger.
This recap video gives me the impression that WCW isn’t doing too well.
I love that the theme for Thunder is “Here Comes the Pain” by Slayer. That song fucking slaps.
This is the go home show for Slamboree, where David Arquette will defend the World Title against Jeff Jarrett and DDP in a Triple Cage Match. That is very important to remember, considering how this show turns out.
The Millionaires Club are waiting outside of the arena, awaiting the arrival of Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff. Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan and Mike Tenay are on commentary. Hey, at least there’s no Scott Hudson and Mark Madden!
Horace Hogan gives the word that Russo and Bischoff have arrived. They storm the limo, and a huge brawl between both factions has started.
Back from commercial, commentary recaps the brawl in the parking lot. Backstage, Vince Russo berates Vampiro and Billy Kidman, among others, for not helping them. The New Blood is now making their way to the ring. They have Miss Elizabeth held hostage. They all walk down the ramp, and enter the ring. Russo has the mic, which isn’t always a good thing. Russo asks if the Millionaires Club knows who New Blood is. Russo says they are not here to play games. He calls out everyone, and here comes Ric Flair, Chris Kanyon, DDP, KroniK, Curt Hennig, Hulk and Horace Hogan, Sting, and Hugh Morrus – who according to Deadlock Podcast, was fired on Nitro the previous Monday. Why is he here?
Flair has the mic. Russo says the people cheer them because they are scum. Russo promises gang warfare tonight. He’s gonna take his boot off, and put their names in his boot. The New Blood will pull names, and fight them one by one. But tonight, it’s New York Rules! What does that mean? That means no rules, no referees, and the wrestlers have to count their own pins! What the fuck? Flair asks “dipshit” Russo if he knows who he’s talking to?
Flair says he’s talking to a collection of the greatest to ever live. And Hugh Morrus. And KroniK. And Horace Hogan, Flair accepts, and promises to shove the boot up Russo’s ass. Millionaires Club and New Blood brawl in the ring. Security is here to try to calm this down. Russo and Bischoff scurry away fast. The police are here too!
After commercial, things have calmed, and it’s time for the first match.
- New York Rules: Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Kanyon “Slap Deez Nuts” sign in the crowd. Jarrett handpicked Kanyon for this match. So, wait. Did he not pull the name out of the boot? Kimberly Page gives a promo talking about how DDP isn’t good enough for her. The promo is, well, not good. She says that DDP is as lame as all “the wrestling marks” in the audience. Yes, Kimberly Page, from the “40 Year Old Virgin” called the fans marks. This is Russo WCW after all. Kanyon is out here, and he’s fired up.
The fight immediately on the ramp. Kanyon gets sent into the steel barricade. Jarrett drops him chest first across the top. Then, he sends him into the opposing barricade, then they go into the ring. Russian Legsweep by Kanyon. Boot to the face of Jarrett, and Kanyon hits a Famouser of sorts off the top rope. He goes to the top rope, and misses a splash. Jarrett clotheslines Kanyon to the outside. Commentary talks about how DDP knows the Triple Cage because he filmed “Ready to Rumble.” That’s not a flex.
Jarrett sends Kanyon over the barricade. Then, he brings him back over. Chair shot to the back by Jarrett. Kanyon blocks a hip toss with a swinging neckbreaker. He drops punches on Jarrett in the corner. Facebuster out of the corner follows. Kimberly is in the ring with the guitar, but DDP is here to stop her. Then, he just decks her with it! Jarrett tries for the Stroke, but DDP hits the Diamond Cutter. Kanyon counts his pin, and wins. These rules are so dumb. Kanyon did look impressive.
Backstage, Russo is pissed at the New Blood. He tells The Wall that he’s up next, and not to disappoint him.
- New York Rules Tables Match: The Wall vs. Lex Luger. It’s The Wall, brother! This isn’t officially announced as a tables match, but since The Wall uses tables, they are present, so...it is a tables match? The Wall’s theme is so 2000. Luger is his opponent. Did he pull his name out of the boot?
They replay from Nitro, when Russo kidnapped Elizabeth from Luger. Wall and Luger have a staredown. Vince Russo is back out here, with Elizabeth. Wall knocks Luger down and forces him into the corner. He stomps away at his chest, and chokes him with his boot. Ric Flair’s music hits, and now he’s out here. Flair goes right to the table, and he’s here to make sure Russo doesn’t get involved. Wall attacks Luger’s back, as Flair and Russo yell at each other on commentary. I can’t understand a fucking thing they’re saying.
Big knee to the chest by Wall. Flair is wooing randomly. Wall chokes Luger into the ropes. Flair says Russo wouldn’t know a man if he saw him. Back breaker by Wall across his knees. Flair lunges at Russo. Luger clotheslines Wall. He then sends Wall to the outside. “How about the Wall now?” says Flair. Wall with a hammerfist to Luger. Russo hits Flair with the baseball bat. Luger has Wall up for the Torture Rack, which knocks him down, and sends Wall through the table. Luger wins? What a pathetic match.
Post match, Russo says he wants his five minutes with Flair in the ring right now. Russo uses Elizabeth as a shield. She escapes, and Flair beats up the security. Flair goes to put the Figure Four on Russo, and here comes Shane Douglas and Buff Bagwell. They attack Flair, and now KroniK are here to even the odds. Everyone scurries off, except for Flair. Here comes Billy Kidman, who actually drew Flair’s name from the boot. He promises Flair that he’ll make him famous!
- New York Rules: Ric Flair vs. Billy Kidman. Back from the commercial, Kidman connects with a dropkick. He goes to the top rope, and hits a missile dropkick. Flair is in office clothes, by the way. Kidman places Flair on the top rope, and hits a suplex. He irish whips Flair into the turnbuckle, and he flops to ringside. Big chop by Flair. The tables from the last match are still at ringside. Back in the ring, powerslam by Kidman, and he comes in from the apron with a guillotine legdrop.
More strikes from Kidman to Flair. Kidman misses a splash from the top rope. Flair is hamming it up out here. Chops in the corner by Flair. He punches Kidman to the mat. Here comes Konnan and Rey Mysterio from the Filthy Animals to beat the hell out of Flair. And here comes Kevin Nash to make the save. Watching Rey try to leave the ring was hilarious. He wasn’t even trying! Nash takes them out, as Kidman escapes. Nash hits the Jacknife Powerbomb to Konnan. No contest for this match!
Hulk Hogan comes out and beats the hell out of Kidman. “That’s not Hulk Hogan, that’s Terry Bollea” says Schiavone. Mysterio pulls Kidman away, as Hogan and Nash stand tall in the ring. Here comes Mike Awesome. He immediately gets double teamed by the two. Double boot to Awesome. Nash hits the Jacknife to him as well. Hogan, Nash and Flair celebrate. Nash grabs a mic and says that the winner of the Flair/Kidman match, due to outside interference, is...Mike Awesome. What?
Backstage, Vampiro slams his head off of a wall, and talks to the six people in his head.
DDP is out here, and he’s got Vampiro. So, did he draw Vampiro from the boot? There’s a shot of Sting coming out with a back cloth, hiding himself. What the fuck? He beats the hell out of Vampiro as he comes out from the back, and pours red liquid all over Vampiro. He drags him back to the ring.
- New York Rules: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Vampiro. DDP hits the Diamond Cutter and counts the pin. Fuck this fucking show.
Backstage, Russo berates Vampiro and the rest of the New Blood. Millionaires Club, on the other hand, are having a hell of a time.
Poor Mike Awesome is back out here after getting beat up by Hogan and Nash, and then winning the match between Billy Kidman and Ric Flair. I have a fucking headache already, and the worst is yet to come.
Side note: Mike Awesome would’ve been a much bigger deal in WCW if the bullshit politics weren’t a thing. That dude is a fucking gem of a performer. RIP. He has a mic, and he drew Sting’s name from the boot! Hey, at least he and Kidman have that in common tonight. Sting “flies his Batman ass” out to the ring.
- New York Rules: Mike Awesome vs. Sting. Awesome goes on the offensive with a clothesline in the corner. The bell rings for this match, which I believe is the first time that’s happened all night. Does that mean this is a match with official rules? Awesome with a powerslam, and a standing splash. He sells the Nash assault. The red liquid is still in the ring. Sting stomps on Awesome’s gut, and punches him in the corner. Atomic drop by Sting. Hey, Slamboree is in 4 days! Sting sends Awesome to the outside. The Misfits in Action – Chavo Guerrero, Van Hammer and Lash LeRoux, who were fired on Nitro by Eric Bischoff – are here, and they jump the barricade to attack Awesome. He’s back in the ring, and Sting hits two Stinger Splashes in the corner. He puts the Scorpion Deathlock in, and Sting’s music plays before Awesome taps. He does tap, but according to New York Rules, Sting could’ve declared himself the winner immediately. Seriously, this show fucking sucks.
Backstage, Russo berates the New Blood again. He gives a pep talk to Scott Steiner. He says he’s gonna do it for him, but not for Russo.
- New York Rules: Scott Steiner vs. Hulk Hogan. As Steiner makes his entrance, Tony Schiavone says the championships in WCW are secondary to this New Blood/Millionaires Club feud. Well, no shit – poor David Arquette is the fucking World Champion! Steiner has been puking yellow and red because of listening to the Millionaires Club talking about their spot. He says Hulk Hogan’s spot is in the ring, getting his ass kicked by him. Hogan comes out, as Mike Tenay talks about how the wrestling world has wanted to see this match. Listen, I hate Hulk Hogan, but having him versus this version of Scott Steiner would’ve done big business on PPV, not on one of the many shitty episodes of Thunder.
There’s a replay of the bloodbath Hogan received on Nitro. Hogan rushes the ring and Steiner goes on the attack. The bell rings for this one, too! Hogan with right hands and a clothesline to Steiner, who rolls out of the ring. Hogan follows him and sends him face first into the barricade, then over into the fans. Hey, Hugh Morrus is helping Hogan in attacking Steiner. Morrus is fired! He hops the barricade, and now it’s 2 on 1! The crowd...barely reacts.
Steiner low blows both, then connects with a double clothesline. Steiner is calling for help, but no one comes. Hogan with a boot, and Morrus with a clothesline. Steiner rolls to the outside, and just leaves. The match is over, as Morrus counts Steiner out. What the fuck was that? That’s a PPV main event pissed away for nothing. I could be wrong, but is that the only singles match between them?
Backstage, Bischoff is on the phone, calling for someone to show up. Steiner threatens Bischoff and Russo for not helping him out.
After the commercial, a black limo has pulled up behind the New Blood limo. Here comes the WCW Tag Team Champions, Buff Bagwell and Shane Douglas. Douglas is carrying both titles, because...who knows?
- New York Rules: Buff Bagwell & Shane Douglas vs. KroniK Did Bagwell and Douglas pull their names? KroniK go right on the offensive, and they double team Douglas in the ring. They trade elbows to the chest of the Franchise. Bagwell brings Bryan Clark to the outside, while Douglas drops Brian Adams. The red liquid is still in the ring! Clark with chops to Bagwell, while Adams hits...the F5? Pre Brock Lesnar? Bagwell chokes Clark against the apron. Adams meets him out there, but Bagwell slams his head off the steps.
Side walk slam by Clark to Bagwell. Douglas uses the tag title belt to drop Adams. Bagwell hits the Blockbuster. Douglas makes the count, but Adams breaks it up. Bagwell and Douglas miss a double belt shot to Adams, who brings them to the mat with a double clothesline. Bagwell is sent to the outside, and KroniK hit the High Time on Douglas, and they get the win. Adams and Clark raises the title belts, and Schiavone speculates if they are the new champs. This show has no fucking flow whatsoever. It’s like bam, bam, boom, next, Backstage, Bischoff gives the New Blood an empowering speech, as Vampiro sits on the couch still covered in red liquid. He says this is our war.
After the commercial, a charter bus pulls up behind the new limo.
The New Blood, led by Bischoff and Russo, are on their way to the ring, and they are holding weapons. Russo looks defeated, a stark comparison to the start of the night. Bischoff says he isn’t a hot head, unlike Russo. Bischoff likes to think things through. He’s thought about how tonight has gone down. They tried to do things the right away, but that’s not good enough. Bischoff promises guerrilla warfare. Ric Flair’s music plays, and here comes the Millionaire’s Club.
Schiavone reminds us that Slamboree is 4 days away. Reminder: this is the go home show. Bischoff says there’s 11 of the New Blood, and 11 of the Millionaires Club. Let’s settle things. Over the Top Rope Battle Royal, and the winner gets a title shot at The Great American Bash – which, again, is NOT the next PPV. 11 on one side, 11 on the other. That’s very important to remember.
- 22 Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal, for a WCW World Title Match at The Great American Bash. I will do my best to keep up with this one. It’s Ric Flair, Sting, Brian Adams, Bryan Clark, Horace Hogan, DDP, Hugh Morrus (who’s fired), Chris Kanyon, Lex Luger, Curt Hennig, Hulk Hogan, Shawn Stasiak, Jeff Jarrett, Vampiro, Mike Awesome, Scott Steiner, Buff Bagwell, Shane Douglas, Chris Candido, Billy Kidman, The Wall, and Ernest “The Cat” Miller. And it’s Over the Top Rope for Elimination. Again, that’s key.
Flair and Douglas start things out, as everyone on both sides fight it out. I see DDP and Jarrett fight in the corner. Steiner kicks Morrus in the corner, and Hogan goes after The Wall, brother! The Cat attacks Luger. Hogan punches Vampiro in the ropes. Now Kidman goes on the attack against Luger, but gets dropped by Hennig. Horace Hogan and Shawn Stasiak go at it! There are noticeable parts of this ring where people are just standing around, or hanging back.
KroniK double team The Cat. “Logic doesn’t exist in World Championship Wrestling” says Mike Tenay. Awesome nearly eliminates Kanyon. Douglas hits Sting with a pipe. Here comes Don and Ron Harris – the Nazi Brothers – along with Vito, Konnan, Bam Bam Bigelow, Disco Inferno, Johnny the Bull, Norman Smiley, Stevie Ray, Big T, and Cassius. Wait, I thought this was 11 on 11 only? And now the ring is full of more people? 19 on 11 now. Horace Hogan is eliminated.
There’s so many people in the ring, it’s hard to keep up. Harlem Heat attack KroniK. People are literally standing around. Here comes Tank Abbott. Flair and Douglas are on the outside of the ring. They didn’t go over the top rope. Stasiak and Hennig fight in the corner. Hogan tries to toss Jarrett. Steiner attacks KroniK. Flair hits Douglas with a pipe. Kanyon is eliminated. Hogan is literally standing still now.
Everybody is just standing in a cluster! What the fuck is this. KroniK try to throw Jarrett out. Hennig is eliminated by Stasiak. Steiner threatens the referees. It’s 20 on 8. And people are standing still. This is Guerrilla Warfare? KroniK have been eliminated, and the camera missed it. Fuck this. Back from commercial, and the ring is still full of bodies! Schiavone plugs Slamboree, which has essentially been on the backburner all night long.
Jarrett and Page fight, sort of, on the mat. Bagwell is eliminated, and so is Luger, but did they go over the top rope? Sting is out of the ring, and he pulls Vampiro out. They’re eliminated too! But did Sting go over the top? Steiner is out, too. And Morrus. Cameras missed that, because why does it matter? Sting sends Vampiro into the barricade. The Misfits in Action are here, as is Madusa and Asya! That’s what this match needed: more fucking people!
This is a sluggish pile of dogshit. Mona is here as well! What happened to this being 11 on 11? “Last Man Alive?” says Schiavone. Fuck this. I guess if you enter the ring, you’re in the match? But it’s 11 on 11. But, there’s no rules! The Cat is leaning against the ropes. Music plays, and here comes Hacksaw Jim Duggan, the fighting Janitor. He has the 2x4, and he attacks Bam Bam and The Cat, and gut shots others.
Smiley is out, and so is Tank Abbott. Duggan leaves the ring, and he’s eliminated. Cameras pan to the limo, and someone in leather pants is on their way to the ring. Fuck the action, let’s watch this person walk on Thundervision! Candido drives his boot into Flair’s neck. Kidman chokes Hogan in the corner. The Wall with a strike to Hogan, brother! Familiar music plays, and here comes Macho Man Randy Savage! He’s alive, according to Schiavone.
Savage takes down all the remaining members of the New Blood. Stasiak is gone. Awesome is gone. Wall is gone. Candido is gone. He did all of this, while wearing a Harley Hat. Savage leaves the ring, and he’s eliminated. But he didn’t go over the top rope! What are the fucking rules? Jarrett and DDP go over the top rope. Final four is Hogan, Flair, Kidman and Douglas. DDP and Jarrett fight their way up to the stage.
Hey, Bret Hart is here. He enters the ring with a chair. He hits Hogan in the back with it. Hogan rolls under the bottom rope. He’s gone. Hart leaves the ring, and since he entered the ring, he entered the match, and now he’s gone. Kidman goes over the top and he’s eliminated, thanks to Hogan. It’s down to Douglas and Flair. Russo runs past DDP and Jarrett, who are still brawling, and he goes to the ring. Flair with the Figure Four on Douglas, and the camera misses Russo hitting Douglas by mistake with a baseball bat. Flair tries to hit Russo with the bat, but he scurries off. Flair uses the bat to eliminate Douglas to win the battle royal, and earn the title shot at The Great American Bash.
Flair does the Suck It taunt to Russo. Bischoff hits Hogan with the bat and knocks Hogan through the announcer’s table. Up on the stage, Jarrett and DDP are climbing the scaffolding of the stage. David Arquette is out here with a guitar...and he falls through the stage. I guess the stage was gimmicked for either DDP or Jarrett to go through, but when Asya came out earlier, she walked on it by mistake, and when Arquette stepped on it, it gave way.
The camera cuts away back to Savage helping Hogan at ringside. Jarrett celebrates, as he apparently knocked DDP off the scaffolding, as the show goes off the air.
That was one of the worst matches I have ever seen. Listen, I’m all for some clusterfuck kind of wrestling. When done right, it can be fun, it can be wild, and it can be entertaining. This was a mess. It was disorganized, it was the worst kind of cluster, and none of it made any sense. 11 on 11 went out the fucking window really quick when people started running in. And because of the lack of rule explanation on a night where there were no rules, all of these run-ins meant these people would be official participants in the match.
Officially, this is the last match Bret Hart and Randy Savage had in WCW. How pathetic. On top of the confusing rules, the layout sucked. At various points of the match, people were literally just standing still. Gee, I wonder if that’s because the ring was overblown with humanity! And for a match that was hyped up as “guerrilla warfare,” this was anything but. There was no sense of urgency, and almost no one out there looked like they gave a damn. I can’t blame them. When WCW is bleeding money out of Ted Turner’s wallet, why bother? You’re getting paid well. Who cares about putting on a show?
It was so messy that cameras missed a lot of important moments of the match, from eliminations, to run ins, to Russo accidentally costing Shane Douglas the match, to the chaos of the DDP/Jarrett confrontation on the stage. What an absolute disaster of a match. If you think that throwing everything at the wall at once and letting it slide works, you’re a fucking idiot.
Everybody has their one moment where they can pinpoint where WCW was a sinking ship beyond the point of return. Some say Starrcade 1997. Some say Starrcade 1998. Some say the Fingerpoke of Doom. Personally, it’s this entire show. This show was a fucking joke. I’d even go as far as to say it was worse than Heroes of Wrestling (a show that I may end up reviewing in the future, because I hate myself). Why? Because there can’t have been high expectations for that show to begin with, considering the card lineup. I can’t say for sure, because I was 6 when the show happened in 1999. But this? This is weekly TV. This is bringing in revenue for your company, which isn’t doing well to begin with. And it’s a nothing show with matches going less than 5 minutes, minus the main event, which was 22 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. Sting vs. Mike Awesome sounds like a cracker of a match. Here, it went 2 and a half minutes. Hulk Hogan vs. “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner is a match that I think would’ve destroyed the PPV box office. Here, it went 2 and a half minutes. Again – what an absolute fucking joke.
I’d only say to watch this show purely as a joke and for laughter. Don’t expect anything even close to quality.
One final note: The ones who say AEW has become WCW in 2000 should take a long look at this episode of Thunder, and then try to tell me that AEW has become this. Because if you believe that, you are out of your mind. AEW isn’t perfect by any stretch, but compared to WCW in 2000, they might as well be All Japan in the 1990s.